On a hill, in a tree, on a branch there sat a house. And in this house on a branch, in a tree, on a hill there lives a man. This man’s name is Jonathon. Jonathon is a really rather curious fellow. You see, Jonathon is purple. Now I suppose if you were to ask Jonathon, he would probably think you looked rather odd. But this story isn’t about you, it’s about Jonathon, and he’s purple, and that’s quite odd.
Now you may wonder whether Jonathon and his house are tiny, or is the tree he lives in considerably larger than your standard tree. Well that would depend on who you ask, the tree probably thinks Jonathon and his house are quite small, but Jonathon probably thinks the tree is large. To give you an idea, the tree is smaller than the moon, and the house bigger than an acorn. There, now that we’ve settled that, let us to return to our purple friend.
Jonathon isn’t just purple, he is completely purple. He has purple hair, purple skin, purple eyes and wears purple clothes. He doesn’t, however, live in a purple house. Those are rather hard to come by so I’ve heard.
So, we’ve established that Jonathon is purple, and he’s rather committed to his purple lifestyle. So how did Jonathon come to be purple, is he an alien? The short answer is, yes. The longer answer is yeeeeesssss. Did I mention Jonathon has 4 arms? Well he does, and they’re all purple.
Jonathon is from a far away place called Missouri. It’s another planet, the name is just a coincidence. No Jonathon is in California. Not by choice, obviously, he crashed here. When he woke up his ship was gone and he was at the base of his giant tree.
Jonathon likes his house. But he is terribly lonely. There are no other purple aliens around to talk to. There isn’t any one to talk to. Unless you count the squirrel who lives in the tree too, but all he talks about are nuts.
There is a big sign that Jonathon can see from his favourite window. It’s covered in all sorts of strange and wonderful animals! Jonathon bets they’re all interesting to talk to. It seems a magical place and he spends most nights staring out his window, sipping his purple tea, wishing he could go to. But Jonathon can’t leave his tree. The world is so large and he is so very small.
But that night, while listening to the squirrel prattle on about different kinds of nuts, Jonathon decided enough was enough. He was going to find this magical place, he was going to Zoo.
He put on his favourite purple shirt, his favourite purple pants and his favourite purple shoes. He packed his favourite food, the purple berries, and he climbed down his tree. He took a deep breath and set off on his journey. Now what you must know by now reader, is that Jonathon is actually rather small and I was just being difficult by not explaining that earlier. So, this journey, for Jonathon, is quite the undertaking. But at this point, if it meant he didn’t have to listen to that bloody squirrel, Jonathon would have gone back to earth Missouri.
Jonathon waved goodbye to his house on a hill, in a tree. He saw the squirrel waving back. That damned squirrel. Jonathon turned on his purple heels and strode down the hill. I say strode, he tripped on a root and rolled most of the way down, but he did make it down.
Jonathon was laying on his back wondering why he’d left his comfortable house. But luckily for us reader, Jonathon has landed under the sign with the animals on it. Wouldn’t this have been a boring story if he had just trudged back up the hill? Then I’d have to talk more about the squirrel!
But as it happens, fate has other ideas. Jonathon is inspired by the sign once more and now that he’s closer he sees a red arrow, pointing right! Aha! A heading. He wipes the dirt from his clothes, pops a purple berry in his mouth and heads into the distance. Wait, now he’s stopped. Oh, I see, he’s tired. Short legs I suppose. This is going to be a long story.