Mighty and successful warriors have captured the imagination of historians and writers alike all throughout history. Many of these warriors wielded weapons that inspired the men around them and struck fear into their enemies. These weapons were often hatefully, or lovingly, named and have entwined themselves into history as much as any of the warriors who used them.
The magical sword of one of the most famous warriors to ever walk this earth, King Arthur. Excalibur was said to have been given to Arthur by The Lady of The Lake at the wishes of Arthur’s famed sorcerer adviser, Merlin.
As the story goes, Arthur was only a boy when he was appointed King and there were many rebellions led by those who would not swear fealty to one so young. During his first battle, Merlin instructed Arthur not to draw the sword until the fight seemed surely lost. With his army surrounded Arthur had drawn his mighty sword and held it aloft. Excalibur shone so brightly that it blinded and confused the enemy and Arthur’s men were able to win the day.
Once Arthur had killed his perennial nemesis, Mordred, he claimed that the sword had to be returned to The Lady of The Lake and it was thrown back into the water, never to be seen again.
The lake in question is the Dozmary Pool, in the UK. A couple of years ago a young girl found a sword in the lake, but it was found not to be Sir Arthur’s magical sword, Excalibur.
That means it could be still there, waiting to be found. Grab your metal detectors and head to the UK. As the legend says whoever the Lady of The Lake gives the sword to shall rule the Kingdom.
But be warned, as we know from Monty Python: “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
The Sword of Goujian -
This sword was owned by a Chinese King in around 400-500 B.C. I’m sure the King was cool and did a ton of “dope shit” with his sword. But for me the coolest part was the sword’s rediscovery in the modern world.
In 1965 archaeologists unearthed a tomb and found the sword. What was amazing was that the sword was still in battle condition. After 2000 years of sitting in a damp tomb it was still sharp enough to draw blood. Two Thousand fucking years. These days if I even show half the stuff in my apartment a picture of water it will rust and break. I guess the ancient Chinese hadn’t heard of planned obsolescence.
Mons Meg -
I mean, just look at that thing. It weighs six tons. That’s the same as an African Elephant. The cannon could fire gunstones that weighed 150kg over 3 kilometers. To put that in perspective, that’s how much a Giant Panda weighs. Imagine a Giant Panda flying at you over the horizon from 3 kilometers away, pretty scary stuff right?
Tick Licker -
This rifle is one of the most famous weapons from the American frontier, belonging to the trail-blazing warrior, Daniel Boone. Throughout his life as a hunter, trader and soldier Boone’s trusty rifle, Tick Licker, never left his side. So named because it was said he could shoot a tick from a hundred paces.
With his rifle Boone killed a rampaging bear with a single shot and killed a Red-Coat from 300 yards away.
Boone was one of the leading citizens who founded and shaped the state of Kentucky. (I fucking love KFC so Boone is like a founding father to me.)
No list of famous weapons would be complete without the lightning wielding, skull crushing hammer belonging to the mighty Norse God, Thor. A weapon fit for a God indeed, able to knock down giants and destroy mountains in a single hit. Those who believed in the Norse Gods, like Thor, believed that the sound of thunder was Thor slamming his hammer down against his enemies.
Also, as we learned from Marvel, only those who are handsome enough can wield it. Is that right?
The Sword of William Wallace -
William Wallace is the famous warrior hero of Scotland, a great man who fought and won for Scotland to keep it’s independence from those damn English. The sword is a timeless symbol of freedom, (no one say the Mel Gibson line). The coolest part about this sword’s story and history is that it’s on display right now. You can go and visit and see the sword wielded by William Wallace during his country’s desperate fight for independence. Which is just super cool.
The sword however, as a symbol of freedom, has been stolen many times by people over the years. So I guess they may never take your freedom, but they can take your sword. (I know, I know. I couldn’t resist.)
Which one of these would you most like to take into battle? Comment below. (And comment if you have another suggestion for a cool weapon from history.)
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